Cheating is one of the most detrimental things that can ever happen in a relationship. If you or your significant other has strayed, mending the damage and moving forward can be downright difficult. Many people consider this to be an incredible act of betrayal and thus, you’ll both have a hard time regaining trust. The good news is that the right communication strategies will assist the two of you in finding out what went wrong and in making sure that it never happens again.
Cheating Is Often A Two-Person Game
When couples are committed to making things work, they have to start by understanding that cheating is a two-person game. This remains true even if only one of the partners in the relationship has been unfaithful. A constant neglect of one person’s needs and a failure to provide sufficient attention to these needs can make this individual seek love and affection elsewhere. There are even times when people make a habit of belittling their partners so that these individuals have to look for positive reinforcement in another place, in order to build themselves back up. For instance, if you’re guilty of constantly telling your husband that he’s a loser and not worth your time, you can’t really blame him for heading into the arms of someone who tells him he’s amazing, and wonderful to spend time with. If you haven’t told your wife that she’s beautiful in years, don’t be surprised that she had a hard time turning down attention from someone who showers her with love and compliments.
Both partners should always feel valued and appreciated within their union. Picking people apart with words leaves holes in your relationship. These vulnerable areas are often what opens the door to infidelity.
Come what may, some people are simply naturally monogamous. These individuals will never stray, despite being trapped in relationships that make them feel worth less than they truly are. People who are naturally monogamous cannot understand why other people cheat. These individuals are more likely to attempt resolving their current unions than they are to seek comfort outside of them. If you are a naturally monogamous person, cheating could signify the end of your relationship. More often than not, naturally monogamous people do better when paired with other, naturally monogamous people. If you and your partner have discussed the infidelity and you feel as though you have done all that you can on your end to support and cherish this individual, you should seek counseling to determine whether or not moving ahead on your own is the best bet.
Forgiveness And All That It Means
When cheating occurs in a relationship, some people think that they are capable of forgiving their partners outright and that they can move on with little more than forgiveness and the belief that the activity won’t happen again. In reality, however, forgiveness in these instances can be far more difficult than people really believe. For instance, you may find that you and your partner face new challenges and that you have a hard time trusting this individual throughout these challenges. Your goal is to avoid constantly dragging the infidelity back up, especially if your partner is making a concerted effort to move forward and to avoid taking actions that betray your trust. This is where good communication comes in. Rather than blurting things out in the heat of the moment, be forthright about your trust issues and work together to see how trust can be rebuilt. Without trust and without true forgiveness, a relationship that’s been harmed by cheating cannot heal.
Talking About The Consequences Of Cheating
When it comes to cheating in your relationship, there is far more to consider than just your broken heart. After all, cheating opens up the door to sexually transmitted disease and the potential for unwanted or unplanned pregnancies. Keep in mind that the only 100 percent effective way of preventing these things in your relationship is by abstaining from outside sexual activity. These are real issues that must be addressed particularly if you want to move forward with the understanding that your partner will respect and protect your health, your finances, and your emotions among other things.
Talking about these things without the benefit of a skilled mediator can be just as detrimental as not discussing them at all. The best form of mediation for couples to seek in these instances is a relationship counselor. This is someone who can guide and direct the conversation so that it always remains conducive to rebuilding each person and the union overall. For couples who are having a hard time mending their relationships after infidelity, counseling can also be the most effective way of determining whether or not people should stay together or go their separate ways. Best of all, these sessions can additionally help couples develop the communication skills they need for both surviving affairs and successfully overcoming any other challenges that lie just ahead.