It is completely natural to want to get back with your boyfriend after a breakup. You may have tried dating other men and may have realized that he is the right person for you. So, how to go about trying to win back your ex?
Do You Really Want Him Back?
This is a very important question that you must ask yourself before taking steps to get back your boyfriend. Do you just want a boyfriend or do you specifically want your ex back? Having a boyfriend can be a wonderful thing and there is nothing wrong with wanting another boyfriend after you have had a breakup.
Yet, getting back with your ex-boyfriend as an easy shortcut to dating multiple men and finding a new boyfriend can be a big mistake. Getting back with a guy who does not attract you can result in an unnecessarily messy and complicated second breakup. Give yourself a week to assess whether the idea of dating other men excite you. If not, then perhaps you truly want your boyfriend back and must take steps to achieve this goal.
Don’t be Stupid about It
Unless you dated a wimp and a complete loser, your ex-boyfriend is not going to get back with you just because you have changed your mind about the breakup, right? Things are not going to revert to normalcy just because you desire it. You will have to work towards getting back with your ex. You will have to win back your boyfriend again. This process will require time, effort, and a bit of luck. So, be prepared to slog it out.
Don’t be a Doormat
Just because your ex-boyfriend is playing hard to get does not mean you should end up behaving like a doormat. Every healthy relationship must be based on mutual respect. You may regret breaking up with your boyfriend and may sincerely want to get back into the dating scene with him. Yet, your plan will work only if your boyfriend to feels that way. A situation where only one person— you— want to restart the relationship is not a good one.
It is natural to feel confused about all this. How to try to win back your boyfriend without hurting his ego or losing your self-respect? Well, nobody said it would be easy. This is why you need to ask yourself whether you really want to get back to your ex. If yes, then the effort will be worth it, especially after you win back your boyfriend.
How to Go about It?
Here are some practical and action-oriented tips that will help you get back in your efforts to start dating your boyfriend again.
Keep your lines of communication open with your ex. Unless you had a horrendous break up filled with abuses, arguments, and recriminations, chances are high that you will still be in a position to talk to your ex every once in a while. Wish him on special days like his birthday, ask him about his bike and other stuff that men care so much about, and make sure you remain in his thoughts.
Next, consider apologizing or, at least regretting, the mistakes that led to the breakup. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that saying sorry will weaken your position. Conveying this in a friendly and casual manner can and will make a huge difference to your efforts. Addressing the past after giving it a bit of time will help you shake your ex and make him feel as if he never understood you fully.
When you were in a relationship, you probably hated the idea of apologizing to him. It’s natural and some would even say that is how things should be. Yet, it is normal for friends to accept the fact that they may have erred. The fact that you addressed this issue first will result in many things.
Firstly, he will feel happy that you were finally forced to admit to your mistakes. Secondly, he will feel bad about not being the first to do this. Thirdly, he won’t know how to react especially when you don’t combine the apology with an attempt to restart the relationship. Once you have him off guard, you can proceed to turn up the heat and rekindle the sparks in your relationship.
Finally, be prepared for his bungling attempts to make you feel jealous by talking about his latest crushes or about the girl he is trying to woo. He would expect you to make a big fuss or feel insulted. Instead, just take it easy and choose the right time to convey that you still have feelings for him. No man can ignore a girl who has the ability to admit her mistake, stand by her love, and yet not be too overbearing or pushy about it.